New Year, New Start

I am determined to make a come back.

I've missed you all, for those who might still stroll by once in a while to check on the ever quiet mouse. I'm sorry I haven't been here to see your joys and aches and loves out here in bloglandia-I don't really have any excuses other than just feeling stuck. You all have made a big impact on my life, more than I can really describe, and certainly more than I ever expected, I just have a hard time trying to figure out how to live my life as it's happening right now, in the moment, fully, and still have time to write about it on my blog. Wait. Scratch that. I have sadly all too much time to blabber on Facebook, a format I don't even find the least fulfilling of remote social connection, because for some reason it's easy, when this isn't. It's a wonky thought process I intend to work on resolving, a little at a time. But I just wanted you all to know that I am truly looking forward to visiting your little windows into your worlds soon to catch up. Maybe I can even start getting back to my late posting of Weekword! :)

Taken in Chattanooga in October 2011 while wandering a lovely little art community with the hubby.

But it's a new year and it's one I intend to spend being creative, even if it kills me!

Judo chop his ass little bunny!

To that end, I have 30 days to start and finish my Sketchbook Project 2012 journal and get it mailed out to Brooklyn-yes, I'm the worst procrastinator in the history of the world.





All I've managed to complete since receiving my journal in March is to have removed the staples they used for binding *serious eye roll inward*





I also decided in a moment of delusion this morning to just throw the baby out with the bath water and figure, "F**k it, I'm already way over my head anyways" and sign up for Life Book 2012 with Tam Laporte at willowing.ning.com. It's going to be a great experience, and my absolute hope is that I can use the push to just get comfortable in my flow of procrastination and not fight it, and most of all, not give up! I need to be one with the procrastination. *smirk*

Plus, I really do love all these little artsy fartsy things, I just get freaked out about actually doing anything because god forbid I not be absolutely perfect at it on the first try. *grumble grumble grumble too old to still have weird hang ups that i know are perfectly stupid grumble grumble*

There are a lot of people out in the bloggin world who seem to be taking on a key word for themselves for the new year-a word to help them focus on their personal intentions for this beautiful, shiny, unused new year on this earth, just gleaming with possibilities. For me, I love the concept of choosing a word that is entirely optimistic; revel, gratitude, beauty, or love. All fantastic words and all quite worthy of a year of blogginess, but not probably realistic for the ups and downs of what I hope to really experience this year. It's important to me, I think even now more than ever before, to be mindful. Yes gratitude is part of that, but not just an inner mindfulness where everything is interpreted through my own experiences...I want something bigger than me to be aware of. At this point I don't even know exactly what I mean by this or what I imagine could be possible, but I know it's what I feel when I look at my husband, when I see leaves twitter on the breeze, when I hear a song that makes me think of being young. I can imagine there is more to know and so that is what I think I'll choose for my word of intention for this year: Imagine. Because there are gonna be days that I'm gonna imagine I was somewhere else than here, and there are definitely days when I imagine I'm winning (invoking Charlie Sheen hysteria for a wee second). But, there is so much to learn in the small amount of time and space we are given on this ever revolving globe hurtling through space, and all I can do is imagine how to be more authentic, more passionate, more willing to give completely without thought to receiving...it's the power of imagination that makes life special.

 Maybe you all could share a word for you too and let me know? It might be fun :)



Here are a few links for others who seem to be participating in this:

http://www.myheartartbygeri.com/2011/12/whats-your-word-for-2012.html
http://jmpgirl.blogspot.com/2012/01/january-2012-one-little-word-blog-hop.html
http://myoneword.org/
http://www.kristenpowersink.blogspot.com/2011/12/my-wishes-for-2012.html
http://ontheshortside.blogspot.com/2012/01/style-my-word-for-2012.html?spref=tw


I hate pictures of me, but figured I'll take a little lesson from a fellow blogging friend Nolwenn from Inner Voices and try to get over that by taking pictures of myself more often so I can maybe see the beauty my husband thankfully seems to see :)

I'll be back to share, and I'm hoping to start some new little routines to keep me engaged because truly, I've missed being part of your lives through this funny format of life in the third person viewing.

My sincerest wish is for everyone to find something they've been missing in 2012 and reconnect to it. May today be the first of a year of blessings and triumphs, large and small, and the start of the return of the Mouse!

Remember this when suffering threatens to make you want to disengage.