Weekword=Widdershins by Me

Thanks so much to John and Jeneveve for playing me this week, definitely go check out their bloggin worlds to see their take on this week's word (they're both awesome!)

I'l be back after the farmers market to post my own take on the word (I'm always a late late little mouse, but I get to it, I promise!) where I plan to take some fun pictures. I would also like to see if Jeneveve at Timballoo would be so kind as to host for next week. I adore her her sketches and know she will come up with an excellent word to take us into next week :)

Okay, so come back to see my take this afternoon, but please do visit John and Jeneveve's places and check in with her for the new word for next week.


UPDATE:

So as you can see, there are
- no pictures from the Farmer's Market (forgot the camera)
- I'm super late as usual (book club and making lots of meals on the weekends for the work week got me busy)
- and I'm just plain going completely widdershins these last few weeks and not sure how to resolve it!

Starting to feel like a whirling dervish, though I could really use the spiritual transcendence they are working towards attaining right now. So far, I'm just feeling stuck feeling like I'm going the wrong way without all the magical qualities I was hoping to invoke with this word this week.

Work is fine, but I'm having a harder time finding myself feeling proud of my accomplishments there. I'm starting to feel like I just do the same thing over and over and over again like a piece of factory machinery. Same conflicts, same stresses over how to meet the budget and have enough staff to keep things running smoothly, same labs, lots of sames. I dearly need a vacation.



Health is great since we are on a completely new food regimen based on the Forks Over Knives movie/Campbell-Esselstyn diet. As a foodie, it's been extremely tough on me to not have the ability really to go out to eat anymore, and I miss oil by far the most out of this nutritional plan, BUT, I've lost 10 lbs and feel lively and awake from morning till night. Everyday is still a struggle for me, but less and less so :)

mango and cannellini arugula salad and fava bean succatash

meal at a friends: curly kale with sweet corn sauce and caribbean black bean salad

Roasted cauliflower and falafel pita with tabouli and homemade chickpea gravy and babaghanoush

What I think has me completely flipped out though lately is the constant anxiety of conflict with people I don't even really know!

I've had a massive amount of conflict with this group of women, the President of this organization in particular, who is convinced that I'm out to get her and that I'm a habitual liar. I've voluntarily chosen to work with these women because they run a neighborhood group that I think it's important to be involved in, but I've run into nothing but antagonism, and bitterness in most any actions I try to take. They've not been following their own bylaws, and I am a major stickler for rules (even if it's annoying, I just can't help it). When this information has been pointed out along with several other suggestions on how to make the meetings feel more open and fair to the dues paying members of the neighborhood (like using Roberts Rules of Order, having meetings be posted for people to attend, posting agendas, etc), I've been met with more than a little resistance. I get antsy and stressed over this, and end up having nightmares and feeling like crap for the whole day because I'm pretty shocked every single time I get such an aggressive and fearful reaction from these women, over really, really, nothing life threatening or even remotely valuable. I'm usually a good team player, and tend to be an active and motivated member of organizations I join, but I've never had people I don't really know assume that my intentions are less than desirable every time I work on a project and ask for input before they are "ready". Uck, I told myself I wasn't going to write about this here because then it just lives on and on, and I hate immortalizing pettiness on my part. My goal is to keep going back to Pema Chodron and some other writers and meditative practitioners to remind myself that I am not responsible for other people's experiences, only my own, and that holding on to suffering and pain is of little usefulness to my own road of fulfillment and peace.

I'm just not built to be a very peaceful person ;)

Anyways, I'm sorry that widdershins has not gotten the wordy wonderfulness love that I wanted it to on my blog, but it did get me writing and sharing, and I've missed that. Please go visit Jeneveve for the next word and I'm off to go set the weekword website!


TTFN!